I'm sure you have questions. "What is this place?" "Am I dreaming?" "Why are staff so attractive?" "Who's that dashing, older gnome?" Relax. There will be time for answers to all of those questions, but let me try to cover the most pressing. I am The Master, and this is The Tower. Yes, with capital letters. The attractive staff I'm sure most of you have noticed are my assistants. They are here to serve The Tower, and as such, serve me. And —at my command— they also serve you. Ask what you will of them, but I caution you: they do not suffer fools for long and each of them is far more powerful than the lot of you combined. It would do well for you to remember there's an entire world of replacements for you outside these walls. I'd suggest being respectful. Or at least entertaining enough to keep around.
Now, to business. You have been selected to help save the world. I know, I know, you're honored. In order to save the world, you will be given limited access to magical abilities and enhancements. As you serve The Tower, you will be granted more and more access to these abilities. In the past, this is the point where I would pretend like this is voluntary, but after the last group, I feel like we should be honest with each other. You have no choice in this calling, and we're stuck with each other until either you succeed, or die, so you might as well make the most of it.
It's not all bad. As I'm sure some of you have already realized, you may request anything you desire and The Tower will provide it. Some of you have already taken advantage of that. Don't worry, you're not the first to interpret 'desire' in such a base way. Regardless, when I say anything, I do mean anything.
But as easily as the Tower can bestow gifts, it can take them away. Do not forget that. So while, yes, you could wish for an authentic document proving you're emperor of the world and and enough money to buy off anyone you can't convince... if it does not serve the Tower's goals you'll find that paper mysteriously vanishes and you're in more debt than you even knew was possible. I would recommend you keep your hedonism reasonable and confined to these walls.
Oh, did I mention you also get magic? Who doesn't love magic? And you'll be a hero, remembered for all time. Assuming, of course, you don't die in obscurity like the others before you. I'm sure this time will be different. But that's not really my problem, now is it? I get to keep trying this until it sticks.
— The Master
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